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“Now that’s the job I want,” said
Steve, putting down the paper. “A guy could really sink his teeth
into something like that.”
Doc looked up from his coffee. “Didn’t know you were looking for
work, Steve. Cowboying not working out for you?”
“It isn’t that,” said the cowboy/farrier, “it’s just that a guy
should always keep his eyes open so as not to miss an opportunity to
better himself. That’s why I’m so interested in becoming a chicken
ranger.”
“A what?”
“He said a chicken ranger, Doc,” said Bert, “but I never heard of
one.”
“Scoff if you must, friends,” said Steve with a flourish, “but right
here in the pages of our own glorious newspaper, the Valley Weekly
Miracle, comes one of the best ideas for a job I’ve ever heard of.
It seems if your chickens run around loose, you get more money for
their eggs. No. Seriously. Look at this ad. The store says they are
from certified free-ranging chickens. Got it stamped right on every
free-ranging egg.”
“Heard about that,” Doc said, nodding. “It’s not that the eggs are
better, but it makes you feel better about eating an egg from a
happy hen, ‘cause she can run around and peck on other hens and get
pecked on rather than be caged.”
“And therein lies my new job, gentlemen,” Steve said. “Someone has
to make sure those are happy, unfettered, free-ranging manufacturers
of cackleberries, and I’m just the guy to get 'er done.”
[to top of second
column] |
Bert, who takes his charter membership in the Mule Barn truck stop’s
philosophy counter and world dilemma think tank very seriously,
said, “Doesn’t sound like much work to me.”
“Each egg has to be certified,” Steve explained. “Gotta be a chicken
ranger there to certify those hens didn’t bunch up in a corner
somewhere, right? So I’ll be sitting there on my horse, keeping an
eye on the girls…”
“On your horse?”
“Of course,” Steve said. “If you can’t do a job horseback it ain’t
worth doing. Don’t you know afoot are the two saddest words in the
English language?” [Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Brought to you by
“Whimsy Castle,” my most recent novel. Available online at
Amazon.com.
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